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seemag's comment for inspiring this. Anyway, I'd like to propose a fun little contest for this week, in which you folks point me to stories you've written (new or old) that you think are guaranteed to annoy the folks who created "Marriage Protection Week." Then I will award points based on how many aspects of the story would annoy them :)Below you'll find some examples of things that would get you points and the points you might receive.
A threesome: One weeping Pat Buchanan
A foursome: One weeping Donald Wildmon and one Pat Robertson gnashing his teeth
Gay sex: One Phyllis Schlafly tearing out her neatly-coiffed hair
Gay marriage: Two George Bushes gagging
Gays adopting children: One Pat Robertson calling 911 and one Richard Land calling for his mommy
Interracial sex: Two James Dobsons fainting and one Jerry Falwell turning white(r)
Interspecies sex: One Gary Bauer looking confused and one Bill Bennett dabbing at his forehead
Please leave a comment or drop me an e-mail if you have a story that you'd like judged in this contest, or if you have suggestions for other things that might receive points and what those points might be. As soon as I can, I'll tell you what I award your story :)
And yes, you can make it any fandom, but do me a favor and don't make it really long. I don't have a lot of time!
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For the interspecies *and* interracial sex, I'm awarding you two Donald Wildmons fainting plus a George Bush screaming in agony.
The infidelity and threesome get one Phyllis Schlafly crying into a handkerchief and three Pat Buchanans throwing darts at your picture.
The homosexuality gets one Bill Bennett turning red and the voyeurism gets one James Dobson hyperventilating.
Wow, that's some good PWP.
The great thing about Star Trek is usually we can kill two birds with one stone :-) I mean, just think, Phlox and Hoshi...
It reminds me of one night some years ago, when Avi and I were watching Babylon 5 and DS9. Coincidentally, B5 had Sheridan and Delenn in bed together and DS9 had Worf and Dax and...urg, some other alien/human or alien/alien couple. I looked at Avi and grinned. "What is this, Annoy the Fundies Night? Interspecies Sex Night?"
Probably Rom/Leela. Though I'm sure the (rather infamous) episode where Jadzia Dax kissed another female still gives me warm fuzzy feelings, because I could almost count the number of fundies I could hear crying indignation somewhere.
mine
I like the contest. Lovely response to another infuriating government pronouncement. :)
Slashiness definitely gets you a fainting Gary Bauer and the multiple nature of the interspecies aspect definitely deserves two choking George Bushes and one Phyllis Schlafly calling her Congressman.
Some definite voyeurism which I think deserves one and a half disgusted Donald Wildmons. Oh, and we can't forget the kinky restraints and such, which merit a Jerry Falwell looking faintly jealous and one Pat Robertson on his knees...
So now I've got to write some, ahem, "straight" slash and some interracial sex and a foursome.
Interracial sex/marriage nets you a rousing two Pat Buchanans screaming about a constitutional amendment.
For polyamorous marriage, you get one Donald Wildmon weeping and two Gary Bauers having a temper tantrum.
For that married threesome who are members of a military organization, you get one Pat Robertson throwing himself in front of a train and one Phyllis Schlafly tearing out her hair.
For lots of drunkenness, mooning, and PDAs, you get one George Bush recalling his glory days. ::whistles innocently::
Nice job!
For bisexuality without shame, that's one Jerry Falwell crying. For ::gasp:: a bisexual man teaching impressionable youth, you get two James Dobsons gnashing his teeth.
In "Out of Character" there's atheism, bisexuality, *and* a great slashy kiss, so that adds on two George Buehes fainting and a Pat Buchanan making racist and sexist comments. (Mind you, the latter's pretty easy to find.)
Hmm. I know I'm forgetting something. Maybe I'll go reread the whole series later just to refresh my memory :)
There's plenty of gay sex, sometimes more explicit than others, though no aliens and no multiples, in my slash. I won't put you through the long pieces, but there are couple of drabbles that qualify on the fairly explicit side.
In Loving Defiance and Lending a Hand come to mind.
And there's reference to the wedding in my established-relationship double drabble Refuge
Okay, for gays having sex while in a semi-military organization, you get a Gary Bauer pissing in his pants, a Pat Robertson pounding on the table, and a George Bush looking for a weapon to shoot himself.
For the gay sex and marriage, I think you get a Bill Bennett dabbing at his forehead and a Pat Robertson fainting dead away.
Of course, because all three are teachers, that gets you one Richard Land screaming in agony and one James Dobson whimpering pitifully.
You go!
However, I was inspired by the most erotic femmeslashy painting today of "Peace embracing justice" at Kenwood. So there will be f/f anthropomorfic just as soon as I kick this evil writing block. A threesome with Liberty could possibly be arranged.
Hmm, here's a question for the ages: Would they be *more* offended by femslash or gay sex? ::ponders::
I've got the gay, I've got the cross-dressing, I've got the alien who is probably 16 or 17 in our earth years AND it all takes place in Kansas.
Hi, I got here from
Let's see, for the gay sex, I award you one Phyllis Schlafly crying into her beer. For one of the participants being a teenager, that's definitely worth two Gary Bauers throwing themselves in front of a bus!
And the cross-dressing, (nice addition, BTW) the cross-dressing I think gets one Jerry Falwell turning white and one Richard Land fainting dead away.
I think I'll also throw in a Pat Robertson whimpering for Clark touching himself :)
The Kansas part just makes Bob Dole cry ;)
But he's been getting away with that kind of thing since the late '30s because he looks like a white guy. Some aliens have all the luck.
If it weren't a bit long for this, I'd submit my triptych History Teaches, which has, let's see. Quite a bit of m/m sex, in violation of the then-prevailing laws of New York state and the United Kingdom. An m/m sex scene in which the characters are 17 or 18. F/f sex, outdoors. Oh, and it's interracial. Explicit speculation about sex between a human woman and a Greek god in nonhumanoid form. A bisexual teacher who sleeps with an ex-student. A gay headmaster who aggressively promotes the use of condoms to his teenaged charges. Three different sexual practices impossible to baseline humans. Plus -- and very much in the spirit of this game :) -- a young Charles and Erik who speculate about Joseph McCarthy's sexuality and discuss the possibility of outing him, which ought to get me a sputtering Ann Coulter at least.
You *definitely* get a sputtering Ann Coulter. And that's just for the femslash! (I love the use of rain, just lovely.)
Erik and Charles and their "deviant" sexual practices rate a thumbs-up from me...I mean, one Gary Bauer pounding his head against the wall and two whimpering George Bushes.
The possible outing of McCarthy gets you a crying Pat Buchanan, sad at the damage to his hero.
Speculation on sex in mythology rates a whimpering Donald Wildmon, since surely nobody in Western literature had sex ;)
The gay headmaster and bisexual teacher rate two James Dobsons fainting and a Jerry Falwell considering suicide.
spam it to hell and backpost it to general mailing lists like I do now, so I'm sure that's why it never crossed your radar.And, hey, I made Don Wildmon whimper. Now if I could just figure out how to do that in real life.
Oh, and I adore your icon, BTW. Very nicely said.
Let's see, for femslash, you get a Phyllis Schlafly fainting. For the threesome, that's a definite George Bush calling for his mommy and a Pat Robertson throwing up.
Demon sex is a new one to the contest, so I'll give that two Gary Bauers weeping controllably. And, of course, we can't forget the kinky/BDSM elements, which deserve two Richard Lands sweating and choking and a Pat Buchanan recoiling in horror.
Collect 'em all!
Anyway, definite pointage here. For students having sex without benefit of that in-need-of-protection institution of marriage, I award you one screaming Donald Wildmon and one James Dobson whimpering into his coffee.
Femslash gets two George Bushes turning red and perspiring.
And, of course, the cross-dressing drabble (a personal fave, BTW) nets you two Jerry Falwells tripping over their feet to get away from you.
Screaming Donald Wildmon (1)
Coffee-Whimpering James Dobson (1)
Goerge Bush with Real Color-Changing, Sweating Action! (2)
Clumsy Jerry Fallwell (2)
So that means I now have six new action figures to play with! MUWAHAHAHAHAAAAH!
And "A Man's Man" is a personal fave of yours, huh? Cool. >:)